“Be Yourself!” – WTF Does That Even Mean??

“Just Be Yourself”

In the past, people that said “be yourself” made me want to punch them in the face. What a stupid thing to say eh? “be yourself?” Pfft! Why should I be authentic if that gets me nowhere? Why should I just accept being some socially awkward, dumb, loser with no future prospects in life? Why should I be this wimp that always gets intimidated by others and can’t stand up for himself? What a stupid thing to say, right?

After many years of going through painful depression, anxiety and emotional abuse, were they right about me just “being myself?” Well…yeah. They were right. How?

be yourself

Why Should I? What Does it Mean?

To accept and own up to who you are in this moment, it is a direct message that implies that who you are is enough to get your needs met. When you cannot do such a thing, you are giving a message that you are unworthy of having your needs met. Just because who you are right now isn’t so good in your perception, that doesn’t mean accepting it will sentence you to a life of misery; quite the opposite. To “be yourself” you are sending a message that you are capable of getting your needs met.

This is a good message because life only exists in this present moment. How can you escape who you to be something else if who you are isn’t good enough to be that? In order to get anywhere in life, you have to be willing to take what you have and use it to move in the direction you want.

An Analogy

For example, lets say you own a car. This car isn’t the best car and maybe you wish you had a better car; a nicer one, more modern and more prestigious. Now in order for you to get from point A to point B, you need to drive this car even though it isn’t your favourite.

By not accepting that this is your car right now, you are in denial and are saying that this car cannot take you anywhere. But if you would just get in this car and drive it, you just might be able to drive it to a dealership for a car that you want even more. That’s how it works right? So even though the car you currently have isn’t the best one, you had no other choice other than to use and care for it as long as you have it until you find another one.

Reality

What are you doing instead? You are saying, “I don’t like this car. I want it to change. I have decided that this car is useless and will not take me to my destination. I am waiting until this car turns into what I want to be. I am waiting until someone gives me a new car. I am resenting every moment that I own this car in hopes that this resentment will act as fuel to take me to a dealership for a new car.”

That is what you are doing on a psychological level with regards to who you are. And life doesn’t really change does it? You still are not where you want to be and life is so repetitive: every single day is the same mundane and tortuous routine.

“Why isn’t my life changing?” Because you are set in your ways that the “vehicle” (identity/traits) you own is useless and will not take you anywhere. You are afraid that if you trust it, it will explode in your face. Instead, you are playing the waiting game. You are trying to change who you are, but the one that is trying to change who you are, is the one that is supposedly useless and not good enough (based on your judgments).

 

This video pretty much explains it all:

 

Final Message

WHATEVER you are identified with right now – Be That! You feel sad? Be that! You hate yourself? Be that! You can’t love yourself? Be that! You don’t have a positive mindset? That’s ok! Be that!

Stop trying to run away from what you are in this moment. It is scary and hurts a little, but it is better than waiting your whole life and nothing happening.

 

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